The Brother has many many talents, like The Sister, and I have been in awe of both of them all my life – but I was not aware of this hidden talent of his – Writing. The Indian Triumph kindled the Writer’s Spirit within him and he has come up with this Masterpiece!

I decided to share this with a larger audience … The Brother himself is behind the Great (fire)Wall where Blogs, Facebook and Twitter are not so easily accessible to them. So here goes …

INDIA UPGRADES TO INDIACRICWIN2.0

On the 2nd April 2011 in a Historic setting at the Wankhede Stadium in Mumbai India, in an instant, the population of the Cricket Platform Wired 1.2bn Indian Minds, globally, got upgraded to the INDIACRICWIN 2.0 version of the software . The new software which was in development for almost 28 years and had been tried to be launched many times after the successful launch of the IndiaCricwin 1.0 version way back in 1983 . The previous six attempts thereafter to launch the Version 2.0 were aborted due to fatal virus attacks by foreign viruses AussieWin (1987, 1999, 2003, 2007 ), PakWin (1992) and LankaWin (1996 ) .

This time the CricIndia Ltd under Chairman Sachin Tendulkar, CEO M S Dhoni and Anti Virus Consultant Gary Kirtsten managed to build a strong software which was successfully able to repel and neutralize all attacks . The first success in the testing process was a comprehensive elimination of AussieWin 5.0 and then elimination of an extremely tough, tricky and dangerous PakWin 2.0 and finally the gallant LankaWin 2.0 one after an epic test which lasted over 7 hours in front of an anxious 35,000 crowd, including the President of India and Sri Lanka, at the refurbished Wankhede Stadium.

The software finally got uploaded eliminating the LankWin virus as soon as CEO Dhoni himself hit a white Cherry (not to be confused with Apple) over the boundary of the ground during the 49th Testing Cycle of the permissible 50 Cycles.

With the uploading of the Version 2.0, the sound decibel of the 1.2bn Indian Minds went extremely high in an instant and wireless connectivity between them started up with congratulatory messages being communicated irrespective of the type of hardware and software across the world .

The world has never seen an event of this magnitude before although similar versions like BrazilFootWin, ItalyFootwin etc. have also had launch attempts in the past.

This version promises a smooth operation for the next 4 years and an attempt would be made to launch the next upgrade, the IndiaCricwin 3.0, in 2015 !! So till then, all the 1.2bn who would have grown to possibly 1.25bn by then, can rest in peace and enjoy the current upgrade with the PRIDE OF WORLD BEATERS !!

All employees of the company especially the CEO, are getting well deserved handsome bonuses in cash and kind from all Toms, Dicks and Harrys for the successful launch which could rival the amounts being received by Steve Jobs and Bill Gates .

JAI HO !!!

I wake up from my afternoon siesta to find that my ported number is not working. No network. Wonder if DoCoMo has such pathetic infrastructure? I then check my Office handphone, also DoCoMo. Full Network, working fine. This prompts a curious query to the Customer Care. I am informed that my address verification has come negative and hence my number is deactivated!!!

“Wow!” I wonder, and ask them where did they go looking for me? As I guessed it, they went looking for me at the address mentioned on my two past Reliance Bills I had submitted as proof that my dues with them had been paid off. I helplessly try to make them understand that the address mentioned on my MNP Application was that of my Current Address and I had submitted relevant proof towards the same – and yet why did they send people to my old address? It so happens that I have sold off that apartment in mid-January and there’s no way I could be found there. And, I was not ready to believe their comment that no one in the house had heard of me nor did the neighbours knew of me  …

Load full of Bull …. I lived in that apartment for 8 years and practically know every owner in that complex! And why would the new occupant not know of me? Buggers, he bought this place from me?!

… and if the verification turns out negative, am I not supposed to be informed about the same? I mean they have my number, for God’s Sake?

So after shouting and losing my temper out on some jokers at the other end of the line, I hang up. Feeling completely cheesed off. I am only looking at the problems I am going to face in the coming days. Most of the people don’t have my office hand phone number yet. That makes me feel wilder.

Some Director has offered his email on the Customer Care site. “Write to me for any problems”, he says. And I do, on Monday. Feel happy that I receive an acknowledgement from him within a couple of hours. It didn’t look like an automated response. Unfortunately, that was the only time I heard from him.

During lunch break, I decide to visit their Customer Care Center. Blow my top there as well because all I hear is the same response. I escalate to the Store Manager, who gives me a patient hearing. He understands the goof-up and escalates the issue internally.

The Store Manager’s response is a saving grace. Tuesday, Wednesday – he keeps updating about the Status. However, the news on Wednesday evening is not so heartening. The Systems are not designed to re-activate an MNP number after its deactivated!! Wow!!

I then decide to escalate the issue myself. I decide to write to the Bombay Telephone Users Association. I also decide to escalate it to the DoCoMo Nodal Office. This was one horrible experience. The Nodal Office desk seems to be manned by a bunch of louts. This guy starts arguing with me that it was my mistake and even suggested that I was fraud because none of my (former) neighbours knew of me. I wonder where did he get that feedback from?! I hold the line for an hour, refusing to hang up and asking to speak to seniors. I was informed that someone will call me on my handphone “within 5 minutes” … and what this guy did was made his other colleagues call me on the handphone, requesting me to disconnect the line I was holding. Meanwhile, on that line – between the times the Nodal Officer tried to mute me – I could hear abuses and foul language. My disgust at DoCoMo just went up several notches!

… while this drama was underway, the Store Manager called and said that the problem should get resolved by next day morning. To assure me, he makes his Technical Support from the backend, to speak with me. Reassured by some sensible talk, I hang up on the Nodal Office Desk. 61mins.

And, no further follow-up, by afternoon next day I was back on the network!

This is what is reinforced in my mind: in India, Customer Care is not an Organizational Asset. Its only certain Individuals who make the difference.

A note of appreciation for the Store Manager is on the way to his Senior Management … and heaps of brickbats for the Call Center and the Nodal Office Desk.

I had made up my mind to switch from my operator Reliance Communications to our own group company, Tata Docomo. Not that there were very compelling reasons for me to switch, my primary driver was to experience portability first hand. The second reason was to abandon Reliance (and CDMA) and move to Tata (and to GSM). Since about a year now, I was facing issues with the Reliance network, handset issues and their Customer Care was sone pe suhaga!

So around 2oth Jan, I drop a message to Docomo from their website. It takes them about a week to get in touch with me. The guys reach out to me and take down the details over phone. Amidst all my travel during those days, we sync-up and I handed over the documentation to them. I promptly receive messages confirming the various steps of my process to migrate. I also get a call from Reliance asking me why am I switching operators – and I tell them exactly why!

As a next step, I then send an SMS and get a unique code which takes the process further.

I am traveling up in the Northern part of the country when I receive a confirmation that my number will be ported at 10p on 11th February, and that for two hours my number will not be reachable. A slightly panic situation. I don’t have the GSM SIM that Docomo gave me nor do I have a GSM handset. And I have a 6a flight to catch for which my car is going to come and pick me up at 4a … how on Earth will the driver reach me? Anyway, that situation is managed.

However I am surprised to find that at 2a, I am still receiving messages on my Reliance CDMA handset and it shows Full Network. Something wrong, I think. At 4a, I call the driver. Wow – I am still able to make outgoing calls from my Reliance phone! Whats happening?! No Clue.

On landing back in Mumbai, I call The Wife. Reliance phone is still working … then it slowly starts to dawn … people are unable to reach me. I reach home. Try calling myself from my MTNL landline – I can receive calls. What the Hell is happening?!

On my way to town, I take stock of the situation and come to a conclusion that I am able to receive calls from certain networks only … and this number is falling fast. Soon, its only Reliance phones who are able to reach me. So, it’s The Wife. And a dozen pesky unwanted callers, who use Reliance landlines.

I call Docomo Customer Care, from my Reliance phone, and explain the situation. They confirm that number is ported and have no clue why the Reliance network is not yet deactivated.

I also call Reliance Customer Care. Here’s the Biggest Surprise! They say, “Sir, we haven’t received any request to port the number”!!! Wow … “Check with Docomo. There is no problem from our end.” … trust the stuttering parrots called Customer Service Representatives!!

I call Docomo again. I am soon beginning to realize that Customer Care is a misnomer. Across telecom operators. These guys are Customer Harassment Agents. (Oh, by this time I have tried out my Docomo SIM on a GSM phone and there’s no network yet.)

It takes two more days and a new GSM handset to finally get on to the Tata Docomo network. Hurrah!!

So, should I Rejoice?! Wait, not yet! I am still getting SMSes from Reliance – “Dear Customer, your subscription to Missed Call Alerts has been renewed …” and the likes!! This prompts another call to them – from the same number, but a Docomo network. They continue to claim that I am still their customer and they will send me bills!! This after I have just received my first bill from Docomo.

What do I do next? I guess there still some fights I have to pick up and sort this out!!

TRAI – are you listening?!

Saturday morning was the end of a hectic tour of the North. Thanks to my bravado, I was yet again unprepared for the Cold! But I survived!!

Something else also happened. A PANIC situation. But Shhh! Shhh! I can’t write about this one

So come 5pm, we were on our way to MMRDA Grounds. Along with me were The Wife and Niece # 2. The FIRST live concert for Niece # 2. For me, it was the second Bryan Adams show – I was there at Brabourne Stadium in January (I think I am right), 1994. Me and a friend of mine had travelled to Mumbai over the weekend. 7th Semester it was. I am quite sure.

The atmosphere was electric. The stage was huge, with two massive screens adorning each of its side and a large paneled LCD screen on the behind of the stage. This time around we were much closer to the stage. About 15m from the stage. A different experience – did not stand in the LONG serpentine queue to get in. I am glad we went for the Gold.

The RJ was playing some wonderful songs – Bon Jovi, Dire Straits, Guns-n-Roses et al … was wondering, these are songs that are etched in memory and bring back memories of New Hostel. 16+ years gone, no new songs evoke such emotions!

Then, at about 6.20p, two Hosts turn up on the stage. One Male and One Female. I must say, they were pathetic. PATHETIC. No other words can describe them better. They had no clue about how to engage the crowd. They had no script and frankly, they were totally amateur.

6.45p, there comes Shiamak Davar and his troupe. Oh! What a sight! He sang three songs and up-ped the tempo: We Will … We Will Rock You, With or Without You and I Want to Break Free. Ooh My! Those girls really wanted to “break free” from something. And almost did! The crowd went berserk!!

Then came a frustrating 45 mins. No action on the stage. I guess the Crew was unhappy with many things. The crowd had swelled. The impatience was beginning to rise – and boo-ing and hooting was starting to pick up, when at about 7.30p comes the Canadian Crooner on the stage, with his band. He breaks into a song immediately – I haven’t heard this one, it must be from his new album (Bare Bones) – One Night Love Affair … followed by I need Somebody before he finally spoke up with the audience, “My name is Bryan Adams and Here I am” … and he broke into the song immediately – Here I am!

The ball was then set rolling. Almost 120 minutes of non-stop singing. Awesome play of the Guitar by himself and Keith Scott. Kept the 15000+ crowd on their feet, Rocking!!

He spoke about the 1994 concert. There was this guy who had managed to get on the stage … and requested for a song. This time around, Bryan dedicated the song to him – Thought I’d died and gone to heaven …

There was a lucky girl this time, pulled out of the crowd – Gowri was her name. She sang “Baby when you’re gone” with him, on the stage. Some people have all the luck they say!

Summer of ’69 came and everyone went berserk!

Mixed the fast with the slow – acoustic numbers were awesome too, including my favourite – Heaven. He asked everyone to pull out their cellphones when he sang Everything I do … back in 1994, it was cigarette lighters and car (& bike) keys!!

Closed the show with All for Love … capping yet another memorable outing for us. 51 yrs old, the Dude, he really rocked the City.

I had no intention of participating in this – 29th Jan had three major programs that I did not want to miss: Beating Retreat and the Oz Open Ladies Singles and Men’s Doubles Finals. I felt the whole idea was kind of crappy. I mean I hardly watch TV anyways. My cousin, The Quiet Indian, had an apt Facebook Status that day: “no tv day…no newspaper day…no radio day…no lunch day.. no dinner day…no traffic day…no lift day…no chappal day.. no shoes day… no cellphone day…no chhddi baniyan day…no shirt day… no pants day…no train day.. no bus day.. no work day…no sunday .. no monay.. no email day no FB day..WTF“

(….  What Next?! …. No Potty Day!!!! HA HA HA HA HA!!! Imagine the amount of Water the city would save … but imagine the resulting Air Pollution .. aarrrgggghhh!!!)

Anyway … The No TV Day had begun with many tasks to be completed – at home. I was going about doing my business while also supporting a colleague who was on a crucial assignment and was in need of help.

The Wife was at home, Googling. And she came across a steal-deal. She says, “Well high time you take me to the Movies …, the last one we saw was Guzaarish!” and then she tells me the ticket prices – just 100 bucks, on a weekend!! And then there was a Sign … the cook called in sick (actually her mom was suddenly sick). So we quickly ready ourselves and dash towards the nearest multiplex. On the way, we decided “Hey, we haven’t seen that one as well …. so why not …?!”

In the queue for the tickets, which had just one more couple before us – we decide to watch back-to-back movies. Ensuring that there was enough time to grab some grub in between … so Dhobi Ghaat and No One Killed Jessica it was. 400 bucks, two movies for the two of us, on a weekend. And to top it all, they handed me a Free Ticket, to be used during the weekdays …

The TV was avoided in the evening as well, since we had to attend a party of The Wife’s cousin who had cleared her CA exam in first shot!

So when the clock struck midnight, I realized that we did end up having a No TV Day ourselves!!

On 8th Jan, we got a chance to attend the Mumbai Sanskriti at the Horniman Circle. Thanks to Our Employers being one of the Sponsors, and me knowing someone who was not attending!! The event was a Jasrangi Vocal Jugalbandi by Pandit Sanjeev Abhyankar and Dr. Ashwini Bhide-Deshpande. Very interesting and engaging. Our first real experience with Hindustani Classical Music. Very enjoyable. The Tabla Players accompanying both artists were awesome. Read more about Pandit Abhyankar at http://www.sanjeevabhyankar.com/ and about Dr. Ashwini Bhide-Deshpande at http://www.ashwinibhide.in/. The event triggered many thoughts in my mind. What dedication and relentless practice can do to oneself! Amazing!

.. then there was this funny character, who was sitting on the steps of the Asiatic Library. This idiot decides to start whistling, fultoo Bollywood Movie style, in the middle of the act by Pandit Sanjeev Abhyankar. Very annoying, not only for the Artists, but to the crowd as well. He was quickly evicted, but he started whistling from outside the premises as well!! Finally the Police drove him away. As it turned out, he was a drunkard.

The second concert we attended was yesterday (22-Jan), at the Nehru Auditorium. The Splendor of Masters. “A brilliant coming-together of varied genres from Indian and Western Classical to Jazz.” The concert featured Pandit Hariprasad Chaurasia playing the flute, a young Dutch girl Gwyneth Wentink playing the Harp, George Brooks on the Saxophone, Vijay Ghate playing the Tabla and the father-son duo of Louiz Banks and Gino Banks on the Keyboards and Drums, respectively. It was an Enthralling experience that left us spellbound. I had never seen a Harp of heard it being played. The young girl was just too good. Enough can’t be said about Pandit Hariprasad Chaurasia. The Father-Son duo were a treat to watch. First time live Saxophone, wonderful. The Tabla? Never stops to amaze me!

What next on the Concert Tour? Hmm …. 12-Feb, Bryan Adams looks likely.

Will keep you posted.

The Wife’s pics are here: http://goo.gl/ANI4t

… the Certificates are there too. So guys, this was no bluff

Gosh! My Life Is Ruined!!

I just don’t understand the hysteria the media had built up around the announcement of the Indian squad for the ICC World Cup. There was Breaking News all through out the day. Minute Analysis – Conspiracy Theories.

Do we need it?!

I think we (are forced to) see more of this Verbal Diahorrea than the Game itself.

Add to it the total invasion by Advertisements.

So what is the Total Air Time of the actual game? I don’t remember seeing one complete over of a match that India plays.

Even on Radio (aur laga BSNL chakka).

No mean achievement considering the fact that both of us ran (jogged + ran) without any kind of prior training or preparations. The only “preparation” that we both had was walk for about 10kms last Sunday. That gave us a good assessment of what to expect. We, and a couple of Colleagues, had kept ourselves a target of making it in 4h. So when we crossed the Finish Line in 3h 27m, the joy was unbound. One Colleague crossed in 2h 50m and the other in 3h 45m. The Wife and I both crossed almost at the same time. Me punching the air and she throwing up her arms on achieving the feat!

Before I write more, I MUST acknowledge that The Wife’s achievement is far more superlative. I know she will not kick me for saying this, but she has had absolutely no background in Sports or any kind of Physical Exercise. For her to make deserves all the kudos. I can “boast” of Sports when Dad was with Air Force, all the Cycle Rides I have had in School while living in Nagpur and Baroda and I can also claim that while I was at BVM, I was running middle-distance (4-5kms), not competitively but quite regularly. But today, at the end of the 3h 27m, I am the one who has wobbly knees and pain everywhere and she is holding out very well! And, while I had left her behind at the Start of the Run, she caught up with me during the last 5kms.

So Dear, Hats Off to You! I am SO PROUD of you!!

Talking more about the Marathon. We were at the Holding Area by 5.25a and then started off at about 6.20a – it took us about 5 mins to cross the Start Line, such was the crowd. 11,000 people for the Half Marathon I hear. We did about 2 to 3kms in Bandra Reclamation before hitting the Sea-Link. I had taken to jogging – quite surprised at the length I was able to go before the realization – or should I say Reality – hit. The knee started to give way Thereafter, I was taking a Volini spray wherever I could find one.

The atmosphere was fantastic. The run began in a pretty cool environment with the temperatures just right. It started to heat up once the Sun came out. The site of residents along the route handing out water bottles, Parle-G, toffee and even fruits like bananas and oranges was really touching and encouraging. Little kids would enthusiastically come out to hand over opened bottles of water to the runners. Very cute site.

Bands playing along the way and spectators egging us all up really lifted the spirits.

The last 5-odd kms were challenging. On the Marine Drive, with the Sun beginning to blaze its way into the Day. We could see the entire Queen’s Necklace and suddenly the End seemed VERY FAR AWAY!! This is where grit came to play. The Wife pushing me hard not to pay heed to my failing knees and me encouraging her to move on as well. We were joined by another TATA employee, from Tata Motors – he is 55 – and we three kept encouraging each other right through to the Finish Line. The last 2kms were the killer ones – a case of so near yet so far! But we made it!! Of course, in a short while after we crossed the Full Marathon guys zipped their way to the Finish Line!!

We then collected refreshments, and the Medal The body was complaining big time. We went to our Tent that was set up and got a chance to catch-up and congratulate fellow runners. Also got a chance to interact with our CEO and have a photograph taken with him, and while leaving the Tent, got to shake hands with the Vice Chairman!!

A perfect end to a perfect outing! A goal achieved. New Goals are set for the next year: Under 3 hrs next time around. A ball set rolling. Time to hit the bed now, and see how the legs hold out tomorrow morning. A busy week starts, one that has travel too.

So long for now.

I don’t recall such media frenzy over the auctions in the past, but this time around it went on and on and on and on … with SET MAX telecast the entire process Live, and our World Famous News Channels had nothing to cover – they were online as well with every Tom-Dick-and-Harry turning into an Expert.

Was this needed? What was the purpose? TRPs I guess. That’s what it all finally boils down to.

But then the Media has become an animal in itself. The main purpose is to make money.

I echo my Chairman’s words, Journalism in this country has fallen to its nadir.